


Mio Caro

by SteadyLittleSoldier



Series: Cucciolo [3]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baby, Domestic Bliss, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Kid Fic, M/M, Sex Toys, instagram posts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-21 10:47:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21298187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteadyLittleSoldier/pseuds/SteadyLittleSoldier
Summary: “I want one,” Elio says.Thinking he wants a juice box, I offer him mine. He shakes his head and points at the table without moving his head from my neck.“What, a sandwich? I’ll get you one if you’re tired.” He shakes his head fiercely. “Face paint?”Elio whines in frustration and stomps his feet. “I want one.”My gaze falls on the tiny humans surrounding the table. “A baby?!”...(No need to read the previous parts of the series before reading this one. Will make perfect sense.)
Relationships: Oliver/Elio Perlman
Series: Cucciolo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1336255
Comments: 58
Kudos: 161





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This time, it's first-person narrative.

Life is good. As cliché as it may seem, life actually is good now. All our strife has awarded us with joy infinite. We knew our separation was temporary – the physical one, of course. There was no way that even the universe could stop us from being together eventually. Elio, as promised has graduated and has moved back to the US of A and into my apartment. Well, it’s _our_ apartment now. FaceTime is well and good, all the tiny vacation, flying back and forth – splendid. But the counting of days every time we saw each other was starting to tear our very beings as though stretched over the globe. We were exhausted. Time. But we counted still. And here we are now. Together again, stronger than ever. Things couldn’t be better. Now that Pip, my sunshine, my son, is turning four soon, Vanessa has started dating again. Aaron is an amazing boyfriend and is good for V. Elio and I spent most of our weekends with Pip and gave Vanessa and Aaron some time to be with each other. Elio loves being with Pip and Pip loves his “Elley-Belly”. What more could I ask for? I thought Elio was with me on this.

He seems happy – happier than I’ve seen him in a while – among kids from Pip’s preschool friends. He’s a favorite it would seem. We are at the park celebrating Pip’s birthday, which Elio helped organize. Holding a juice box in my hand, I stare at my angels from a shaded place under a tree. Pip is making grabby hands at Elio, wanting his attention, and he picks him up and swirls, making imitating the noise of a plane. I chuckle at the way it makes Pip giggle, and Aaron sneaks up on me.

“I thought you were an idiot,” he says, “giving up on a girl like Vanessa.”

“I _am _one,” I say, still smiling at Elio who catches my eye and winks.

Aaron shrugs. “Maybe. But you’re lucky too.”

I grin. “I am.”

“Gotta admit, I didn’t expect Elio to be _this_ chill about the whole… situation. I mean, by the way you talked about him, I knew he was a good kid, but a kid nonetheless.”

“Well, you took the situation pretty chill.”

“Yeah but I’m a grown-ass man with an ex-wife, not a college student who should be hungover with a girl _and _a boy in bed on a Saturday morning.”

I frown through a laugh.

Aaron slaps my back. “You get the point.”

I nod. Looking back at Elio. “I do actually. Elio’s amazing like that.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to do this when I was his age. That’s a lot for such a young guy. Ooh, I better scuttle,” he says, seeing Elio walking towards us. “He probably thinks I’m hitting on you, standing in the shade like this.”

They exchange a ‘hey, man’ as they pass and Elio comes into my arms. I kiss the top of his head and rub his back as he buries his nose in the crook of my neck and sighs.

“Tired?” I say.

“I want one,” he says.

Thinking he wants a juice box, I offer him mine. He shakes his head and points at the table without moving his head from my neck. “What, a sandwich? I’ll get you one if you’re tired.” He shakes his head fiercely. “Face paint?”

Elio whines in frustration and stomps his feet. “I want one.”

My gaze falls onto the tiny humans surrounding the table. “A baby?” Elio hums. “What you're gonna do with a baby?” I say, chuckling, holding him tighter and swaying from side to side.

Rubbing his forehead against my chest, Elio whines louder and I am afraid people can hear him.

That night, as I spill into his body, I hear him whisper, “I want your babies.”

Perhaps it is the passion with which we make love almost every night now – like a couple on honeymoon – that stops me from addressing this - something that we both would later find ridiculous. 

“Put a baby in me, Oliver” he whines through his orgasm.

So, immediately after pulling out, I take out a small butt plug from a drawer on the bedside table and place it into its designated place, stopping Elio from spilling my sperm. Elio’s brows shoot up as he feels the object touching the most intimate part of his body. “You want my kids, so,” I say, smirking.

Smiling, Elio shakes his head. “I love you,” he says and pulls me in for an after-sex languid make out session.

*

“We have to talk about this,” I say hours later.

“We are talking about this.”

“Elio, you just moved here. You aren’t even used to this life yet – are you sure?”

He hums and looks around. Thinking. “I mean we would like a kid or two eventually, right?” He looks back up at me.

Would I? I still don’t know. “Sure,” I say.

Elio lets out a breath before burying his face in the crook of my neck. “I dunno…” he mumbles. Self-conscious. “It might be too much for you. You already have Pip.”

“He has Aaron now, though.”

Elio looks up at me abruptly. “He’s still your son, Oliver, don’t forget that.”

I smile. “He is.”

Am I ready to become a parent again? Only this time, it will not be this easy. With Vanessa – apart from the disastrous situation that my life with Elio was in – everything was easy for me because, even if I wanted to do as much as I could, Vanessa, being the badass that she is, took care of everything. After my “vacation” in Italy, I spent a couple of nights a week and the whole of the weekends with Vanessa and Pip even though her sister was there with her. I wanted to help Vanessa, maybe out of guilt or for the other kind of love that I have for her now, and I wanted to be with my son because that little bundle of joy put everything into perspective. But spending a few nights with a baby and living with one while holding a job and taking care of your boyfriend is a totally different case. And I don’t think Elio, being an only child, is aware of the whole deal. And he is still a student. So the real question is, is Elio ready to become a parent?

Many people lose their minds after having a baby. Some even develop depression and anxiety, some get divorced. I don’t want to face such consequences just because we rushed into things we aren’t ready for. I can’t afford to lose Elio again. What I think Elio thinks it is is perhaps the parts that he sees – giggly faces with no teeth, soft cheeks, cutesy stumpy feet, playing around, all smiles and sunshine. What he misses to see is this – wailing in the middle of the night, the need for constant attention, forced feeding, potty training, diapers, kitchen littered with bottles, apartment filled with baby things, the burps that won’t come, some more wailing. And that is just when they are infants. When they start to teeth and crawl, that’s a whole new story. See, Elio wasn’t here while Pip was that age. Yes, I showed him over Skype but that was still the giggly parts only.

When I let Elio know about this the next morning, he doesn’t say anything for a while. He listens to my nervous rambling, the whole of it. Then he does speak and I wish that I didn’t. “You think I think babies are playthings? You think I want a toy, and not to build a family with you?” He stands up and gets his backpack. “I might be younger than you are, Oliver, but don’t treat me like I’m a six-year-old who thinks he can handle a real baby because he takes care of his teddy bear.” He rushes out of the apartment before his words can sink in.

And they do. His words sink in. I realize what an idiot I have been. Of course, Elio has thought about all this. He is the most brilliant person I know. I thought about what Aaron said to me. Even an outsider can see how extraordinary Elio is. I am the idiot who didn’t realize how harsh my words would sound once they were out of my mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first picture is not my edit. Credit to @sheril94 on tumblr.
> 
> Sorry if there are any mistakes. Couldn't proofread.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who hasn't read the previous fic - little Oliver is Elio's pet dog.

So, I need to apologize and make Elio come round. It took some doing. With Elio, it always does. Because he's special. I want him to know that I am truly sorry.  
After work, I pick some things up and I head to the hotel lobby where Elio works parttime – playing the piano – three days a week after class. I wait there, order coffee. I know he has seen me and he hides it pretty well. But I know him as no one else does. He doesn't look up or at anything else except for the keys, but I can still see the almost-pout tucked at the corners of his lips. 

I can’t take my eyes off him still when he plays the piano. He looks like a godling condemned to live among mortals, so he plays the piano, hoping, with the music, his sorrow will flow away. All these people here lounging about, paying my Elio no mind, busy with their own small issues, they don’t deserve it. I get so engrossed that I don’t notice that he is finishing the piece. When the last note fades away, I see Elio walking towards me immediately after. His stride lazy, faking boredom. I stand up for him, and as he comes closer, I cup his cheek with one hand and kiss his sideburn.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he says grumpily, “what are you doing here?”

“Came here to see you play.” That is not entirely a lie.

“Shut up,” he says and turns sideways, pretending to scan the lobby.

I take his cheeks again and kiss his temple, then his forehead. Slowly. With meaning. I hear him let out a sigh and bow his head. Relenting.

“Look, babe, I’m sorry. It’s that…” I take a deep breath. “I was not yet sure that I can handle being a parent again. And I think I projected that on your... I don't know," I huff and rub his arms. "I thought you couldn't handle, or it would be too much pressure - How could I be this stupid? Is there _anything_ you can’t do or don’t know? How dare I even question that?” I hear him chuckle for a second. I smile. “I want to do this with you. Nothing with you can be wrong. Because I trust you and I love you with my whole heart.”

Elio's smile remains. He shakes his head. “Oliver, I won’t make you do something this big if you’re not ready. There’s no rush.”

“No. But I want to. It’s gonna be amazing with you beside me this time. I_ want _to do this, I want to build a family with you too. So can we go home and talk more about babies, please?”

He kisses me in front of the whole lobby.

*

A nice home-cooked meal, sweet wine, scented candles, pretty bath bombs, and the prospect of adoption are all it takes to cheer him up again.

Then we talk. _Actually_ talk, not just fantasize impregnating my male partner. We make lists, we do research, we ask people, we ask Vanessa. We contact adoption agencies. We ask each other. _Are you ready? Are you sure?_ We are. We are.

We are told to contact a lovely Puerto Rican lady, named Valeria, who is willing to give us her baby. She’s young, a little older than Elio. We ask her for lunch. We get to know that she is single and thinks ours is a healthy home for her baby. Well, our baby. When she found out that she was pregnant, her ex-boyfriend had already left her and she simply cannot see her life going in that direction but wants to give birth to this little miracle. The doctor says we have to wait just four more months. The news makes my heart thud, and I see Elio huffing and smiling nervously beside me. He clutches my hand. We’re ready.

I find him falling asleep with the sonography of the baby. I brush his hair and gently take it from him so as not to wake him up. I look at it. In four months, another sunshine will enter our life. Despite the nervousness, I cannot help but smile. “I can’t wait for you to be born, little Elio,” I whisper to the flimsy image. The name was my idea. As we already have a little Oliver, who is now curled at Elio’s feet, I want the baby to have Elio’s name. I want the baby to inherit each and every one of Elio’s qualities and none of mine. Elio tried to quarrel with me about it for a while, but he gave in in the end as I put on my professor-voice and gave him a lecture on the meaning and origin of the name.

We baby-proof everything in advance, even though he won’t be crawling for at least six more months. You can never be too careful. We buy bottles, toys, tiny baby clothes – “can’t have too many onesies” is Elio’s excuse for buying basically the whole shop. We buy the crib, settle it beside our bed, even though it might be advised against. We want our baby close.

“My parents kept me in their bedroom till I was two. I turned out alright,” says Elio, shrugging.

“Did you?” I smirk. And receive a punch in return.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep if we put this tiny human being, who is a danger to himself, in the other room for the whole night.” He raises his eyebrow, staring at the crib, deep in thought. “I mean what if he flips over and can’t flip back? What if we bangin’ each other so hard, we don’t see or hear the baby monitor?”

“Speaking of – where _do_ we bang each other if the baby’s sleeping in our room?”

Elio shrugs. “Sofa. The other room. Floor.”

I grunt thinking about the couch that can easily accommodate Elio but is a little too small for me.

“Why? The floor gives you back pain, old man?”

“How did your parents manage?”

“Urgh!”

Revenge.

Elio tells his parents. They plan on visiting. I plan to tell mine when we already have the baby – not that they would care much. They are not very pleased with my life choices. We tell our friends. V is ecstatic. Pip is told he is getting a little brother and he is as excited as he would be when getting a new teddy – which is too much excitement for V.

We weave dreams at night. We lie awake, Elio’s head resting on my chest. We smile at the ceiling while we plan the baby’s first trip to Italy, his preschool, how Pip and the baby are gonna be best friends. Elio coaxes me into promising that I will let him get the baby on our bed once in a while and let him sleep with us.

“But I’ll be the one who has to make sure you don’t squash the poor thing in your sleep.”

Elio shrugs. “So you will.”

I shake my head and laugh. I’ll have to father three kids. Three.

* 

Little Elio was not supposed to come out for at least another three weeks. Thank God, we didn’t leave things for the last minutes. We are called as soon as Valeria’s contraction begins. I rush home from the university, canceling all my classes and call Elio. We meet halfway and practically run to the hospital even though we know it will be a while before the baby is born. We want to be there for Valeria. It wasn’t possible to continue to work after getting the news anyway. I feel Elio vibrate beside me.

“Fuck, I’m excited,” he rambles. “And nervous as hell. I don’t know why I’m nervous, she’s the one giving birth. Oliver, are you nervous?”

The elevator is empty except for two women leaning against the walls. I couldn’t care less. I squeeze Elio’s hands and place a chaste kiss on his lips in answer. “It’s gonna be fine, Elio. Just don’t let Valeria see you this jumpy,” I say, caressing his cheek and chuckling.

“Fuck, I’m so excited,” he repeats and gives me a hug.

Before we can enter the room Valeria is in, however, we see four people loitering by the door. Valeria’s family I presume. They are speaking softly in Spanish among themselves, paying us no mind. The probability is that they have no idea who we are. When Elio starts to go into the room anyway, I stop him.

I catch bits of the conversation and that is enough to know. One of them suggests that it is time for them to intervene, so they enter the room. I catch a glimpse of a young man sitting on the bed facing Valeria before the door closes behind them, leaving Elio and me alone in the corridor. We are outsiders here.

"Um, the-the... Um..." Elio stands stiff, staring blankly at the closed door, perhaps hoping for them to come back with different news. He attempts to translate thinking I have missed the conversation. "The... boyfriend –“ I hear his voice breaking just a little.

I touch the back of his neck. "I know." I bring him to my chest. He shudders, says nothing. With all his might, he tries to hold back. I hear the seam of my shirt stretch as he clutches onto it tightly, taking in deep breaths. As though he is waiting for me to tell him that it's okay. So I do. And he lets go. He huffs against my neck. "Our baby..." A sob escapes his lips and he holds on tighter. That's all we can do. Just hold onto each other until it seems okay. But it doesn't seem okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Promise this is the last chapter. An epilogue more like.

Someone in the family has sought out the boyfriend and let him know that Valeria was giving birth to his child. Now, he wants to marry her and raise the child together. And they can do that. They are not legally bound or anything that would stop them. And even if they were, we don’t have it in us to take that away from the child.

We wait 3 hours in the lobby just to make sure. We don't hope, we pray. The baby is born, healthy, seven pounds and wailing. When it becomes clear that we are not really wanted there, Elio begs to see the baby at least. "I don't think that's a good idea," I say. Elio doesn't answer. I can't stop him. The appointed nurse asks Valeria before letting us in. The tiny thing is sleeping in his father's arms. Elio's reddened eyes waters again. He asks if he can touch the baby, and huffs again when the back of his fingers touch the pulp cheek. The baby grunts and arches in his sleep. My hand on Elio's back doesn't leave. I am afraid to even look at the child. Elio is the brave one, he has always been.

"Congratulations. He's beautiful," he smiles.

"I'm sorry, Elio." Valeria looks brokenhearted. "I’m sorry for everything. You are _always_ welcome to visit. Whenever you want. And I’d like us to remain friends… if you want the same."

Elio, my wonderful Elio, walks to her and kisses her hair. “Don’t be sorry, he’s your son.”

The father asks if Elio wants to hold the baby. He does and he kisses his forehead, plays with his tiny fists. The baby opens his eyes and looks at Elio. “Hi…” he coos. I longingly stare at something that could have been our life.

*

“Babe?” I call, entering the apartment.

“In the kitchen,” he yells back.

I find Elio sitting at the dining table, books and laptop open before him. “Valeria called me today.”

“Yeah? How’s the baby doing?” says Elio, distractedly. Or perhaps he pretends to be.

It’s been two weeks. Elio was holding up alright until, one day, clutching the edge of the table, he bowed his head and burst into tears while we were putting all the baby things in boxes to give away. So he tries to be busy with regular everyday stuff now.

Valeria wanted to call Elio at first but she was afraid it might be difficult for him. Not that it was super easy for me. She also invited us to see the baby because we haven’t visited once, and I don’t think either of us is ready for that yet. It’s not something I am going to mention to Elio.

“The baby’s great. Valeria… has a request.”

Elio looks up at me now, resting his chin on his fist.

“She wants to know if… if it’s okay with you… if our name for the baby can stay. She wants to name him after you.”

Elio is silent for a while before he smiles softly. “He’s been Elio to me ever since I laid eyes on him.”

We go to pick up Pip the next day for the weekend, but Vanessa has other plans. We’ve told her of course. Perhaps she wants to cheer us up a bit. She invites us in to have lunch. Pip runs – not to me, but to Elio, yelling “Elley!” Exaggerating a groan, Elio scoops him up and Pip gives him a big hug.   
Life is not bad. Not bad at all. We don’t have the baby but he is happy and healthy with his parents. We have Pip. At least Elio is laughing wholeheartedly again now that he is with him. And I have Elio.   
We promised each other that we will try again when we are ready. This time, maybe a surrogate or an already born baby. But we are not ready yet. But we will be. Life may not be great right now, but it will be again. As I said, life is good.


End file.
